Arshaad

VirusPrince · Sun Apr 29, 2007 12:53 am Mauritians s'il vous plait...pa morisyen!!!

Ti gagne sa joke par email...Bon mo passe li ici pu ki zotte tou kapave rie ene ti coute.

Mauritians s'il vous plait...pa morisyen!!!

[list=]They always succeed better than their other Asian counterparts...or at least it seems that way.

They are the most competitive, passionate people you can ever meet. If one takes out a new BMW with air con, his friend will take out Mercedes with climate control!

Talking about cars, they rarely drive cars older than 5 years and it's likely to be a Nissan, Toyota, VW Golf, BMW or Mercedes (the richer you are classes which of those five you get). Or on the rare occasion that you find an old Mauritian car then it's likely to be a preserved Nissan Sunny or Toyota Corolla from the 90's without a scratch or dent on it.

They feel great when people mistake them for being born here. But some never lose that weird crappy not-even-French accent.

Mauritian-born Mauritians always compete against British-born Mauritians - inferiority complex that they can never let go of. Why don’t they see we don’t want to compete - we are what we are?

Every Mauritian alive has a souvenir 'Ile Maurice' T-shirt that they use as: a) dishcloth, b) car polisher, c) the lining of their drawer.

Never to run out of wrapping paper, as they save Christmas, birthday paper to be used again and again (sometimes even the sellotape too).

Some Mauritians never ever speak Creole and claim not to understand it, whereas some will quite happily chat in their native tongue with whomever they see on Green St.

Whenever someone comes from Mauritius, they are likely to be loaded with parcels of Zasar, gateaux patate, dhal puri, The Bois Cherie, Kraft cheese, bien-etre eau de toilette to be distributed around the country to relatives that only just keep in touch for the goods.

If clothes are sent from back home, they are always extra large..."Li pou grandi la dans"

If you get gifts, they are likely to be all different varieties of Mauritius souvenirs, which look cheap, are plasticky and play annoying ringtoney tunes like 'green sleeves' which are so embarrassing they are hidden out of sight but you take them out on show every time the family comes to visit.

When someone goes to Mauritius, open their suitcase to find it loaded with bottles of 'Head and Shoulders', 'Bacardi', knives and other kitchen utensils, socks, knickers etc as gifts to their beloved family back home.

For some reason they all have at least one of those black and orange hairbrushes.

They tend not to stick to one another but will try to blend in with all the other Asians even though they're really African!

In addition to the common names, for the indian Mauritians out there:

BOYS: Ashwin, Shakeel, Ajay, Adil, Rishi, Rhavy, Riase, Imteaz, Reshad, Shane

GIRLS: Shaheen, Natasha, Shalmeen, Noureen, Asha, Nushreen, Anusha, Ayesha, Yasmin, Sheila

In Mauritius you get places because your uncle knows the head of a company or you mum is a friend with the wife of the commissioner of police, and the amount of 'goos' you are prepared to give. Probably isn’t a Mauritian who hasn’t taken/given a bribe.

They all like the same music.... DJ Bobo or some other cheesy Euro trash dance/Caribbean reggae music. Can’t quite decide whether they are black or white? Sister, brother, face it u r neither. And as for Sega...leave it to the experts, if u cant dance it, don’t try cos u look worse than a fool

All Mauritian Hindu’s drink till they get big beer bellies, all Muslim Mauritians smoke till they grow yellow beards

Mauritians above 5ft 8 are RARE and are to be snapped up if you have any hope of getting tall kids cos trust me that gene is not[/list]

Aniisah · Tue May 01, 2007 6:43 am Another mauritian joke!

yikes virusprince! thtz a good one! :lol: herez another mauritian-british joke...

"A Mauritian is having breakfast one morning; coffee, croissants, bread, butter & jam when an english man, chewing gum, sits down next to him. The mauritian ignores the englishman who nevertheless, starts a conversation:
Englishman : "You mauritian folks eat the whole bread??"
Mauritian (in a bad mood): " Of course."
Englishman : (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In england , we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to mauritius."

The Englishman has a smirk on his face.

The mauritian listens in silence.

The Englishman persists: "Do you eat jam with the bread??"

Mauritian :"Of Course."

Englishman :(cracking his gum between his teeth and chuckling), "We don't. In England we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell the jam to Mauritius ."

The Mauritian then asks: "Do you have sex in England ?"
Englishman : "Why of course we do", the englishman says with a big smirk.
Mauritian : And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"
Englishman : "We throw them away, of course."
Mauritian : "We don't. In Mauritius , we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to England."

:twisted: